It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
