Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
