Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
