I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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