He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
