i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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