Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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