she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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