it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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