i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
