It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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