Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
