you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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