He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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