it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
