Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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