i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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