You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
