So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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