i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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