Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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