i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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