Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
