I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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