It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
