I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
