Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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