there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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