Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
