you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
