how can u be prego again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Found the puke drawer
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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