we're blogging at a bar
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
