Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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