epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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