he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
