You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
