I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
