I just made out with a guy for $7.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
