i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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