is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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