I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
