Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Welp...herpes.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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