Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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