They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
