One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
