There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We need to get me chipped asap
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
