2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
