Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
