Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
no, he came in my armpit
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
