if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
