I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
