Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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